It's a classic scenario.
Christmas Day: Doug and I are at the buffet and I'm getting ready to make my first trip to the food line. I grab a tray because like any buffet pro I'm not going back to the table with an empty hand. Two hands - two plates.
I've already walked the food perimeter and scoped out "the goods" so I know what I'm getting. I start with the Oh-So-Famous buffet line pizza, the one that always revs up my acid reflux and wakes me in the middle of the night with heartburn spawned from the devil himself. Then I head over to the fried rice and General Tso Chicken because they pair so nicely with my cream cheese rangoons and butter rolls.
Item after item, I completely overfill both of my plates and then complete the process again with dessert. Ice cream with sprinkles and oreo hunks to go with my fortune cookie in one hand and and sugar filled cakes, banana pudding and churros are on the plate in my other hand. (Remember, two hands - two plates.) Nothing is held back as I complete our yearly ritual of mindless eating followed by a misery induced nap on the way home.
..and year after year, I tell myself I'll "never" do it again as I battle the symptoms of bloat, digestive distress, and eater's remorse during the days immediately following. I wish I could say this pattern of overeating followed by vows of "never" eating again never happens but that's not true. It's like I lose all common sense and self-control when given the opportunity to splurge; all while telling myself in my head that "..it's ok just this one time." When in reality this one time is actually the third time this week. I can always start again Monday.. Right?
Food addiction and food fixation can be an overwhelming obstacle when it comes to health and fitness, and in some cases day-to-day life. If I'm not focusing on every calorie, macro and ingredient that is going into my body then I'm binging on Ben & Jerry's ice cream at 11 o'clock at night in my pj's and house shoes trying to figure out how I even got in the kitchen.
As crazy as it sounds, food has become more of a comfort for me than a source of nourishment and health. Almost like a drug user needing their fix, there are days I feel like I can't say no to a cherry pop-tart or leftover slice of cold pizza. It doesn't have to be that way, though.
While I don't always win the fight with the "crazy, hungry girl inside of me", I have found that sometimes if I really try I can keep her at bay. Having a plan before I go into a restaurant is something that has helped a lot. Searching their menu online before the meal has saved me on multiple occasions from ordering something unhealthy on a whim. Sharing meals with my husband and keeping a group of accountability partners has made a difference, too. (Yes. I said partners. It takes a village for this girl.) Drinking water to curb my appetite or going for a walk can also help redirect my thoughts toward a healthier lifestyle.
..and when I fail? I wipe the ice cream off my chin, take a deep breath, and try again, because that's the key to success..
Never give up.