I am Wonder Woman
Its been three years since I first started this journey to a healthier me. Notice, I didn't say anything about a weight loss journey. Sure, I want to lose weight. That is a key component to my over all success. Yet, I struggle to make this happen. Days come and days go, yet here I am at the almost the same weight I was year ago. This my friends, has been weighing on my mind lately. I try not to complain about it much. After all, I can't blame anyone but myself. I have studied nutrition and fitness for almost as long as I have been on this journey . I know what I need to do. I need to bring out my inner Wonder woman.
"Some days though, the gravity of my own stupidity is almost too much. I mean , I eat healthy most days. I exercise 6-7 days a week. Its the little mistakes that add up to big set backs."
It' funny how three years ago, before my diabetes diagnosis, I hated the thought of fitness or a gym. Fast forward to now, and that's a big part of who I have become. I absolutely love this lifestyle I'm creating. It's hard, on days like today though, where I feel as though I'm failing. My heart is about helping others achieve a better healthier life. So, I get frustrated with myself, when I struggle.
The thing is I'm not really failing, Its an illusion I've created for myself. I've been out of the gym for at least two weeks now. I have felt as though I'm some how weak for not being able to push through the back pain. I have felt distant from my gym buddies. They mean so much to me. I feel out of place when I'm not there sweating along with them. Like, I'm no longer apart of the group. I guess you could say it has put me into a small funk. The reality is there is no reason to feel that way. I'll be able to go back soon, but not without modifications.
Cue the insecurities
What will they think? Everyone knows that I am a plus size personal trainer. It feels embarrassing having to take some steps backwards...…again. Will they think that I'm not pushing myself hard enough? The truth is, I'm human. We all have physical issues that arise. I have come so far. My blood sugars and other blood work is better than it has been in years. I have grown so much in different areas of my journey. My mindset is healthier than it use to be. I have fault through depression, anxieties etc.. I'm able to focus in the gym, I've learned a lot about myself. My insecurities are absolutely ridiculous . Yet, here we are.
So what now?
I put my big girl pants on and dig deep. I remind myself, that I am strong, with or without struggles. My set backs don't define me . I can do this! I am a Christian by faith, and I know God has my back,(No pun intended)😉 . He will get me through my trials.... my ups and downs.....my insecurities. God is my strength . Its been three years, but this is my year. I can feel it. This time, its different. I am stronger than I feel on some days.
What can you do to get out of your funk?
Along this journey , I have found that different tactics works for different folks. Getting healthy doesn't come with only cookie cutter solutions. Sometimes, we must step back and take a look at ourselves. Getting healthy isn't just about the physical. It's very much about the mental. You have to take care of your inner Wonder Woman. Keep her strong!
Here are some things we need to consider when we get into a "Funk" .
Get help. I know it can be hard to pour your feelings to someone. Its much easier to hold it all in. Find someone who can be neutral.
Listen to music, I'm not talking about the kind that makes you want to go bury your head in a pillow and cry for days. I mean up lifting music that makes you smile a little. Music that makes you dance like no body is looking.
I personally enjoy listening to Ted Talks. Look them up on YouTube. I always look for something that can inspire me or teach me something relevant to what I am going through. Pod casts are great for these purposes also.
Journal your thoughts, because your situation and your feelings are only temporary. Wait a day, week, or a month and see if those feeling have changed.
I don't know what your faith is, but I am learning to seek out God when I need answers. Don't expect a loud voice to come shouting down from the heavens. It will be subtle, it will tug at your heart. Regardless, just don't forget to really listen.
Last, but not least, never forget that you are not a failure. You are not your mistakes. Your setbacks on your health journey , do not define your worth. EVER! YOU hunny, are a Wonder Woman!!!